semiotics

selamat hari merdeka!



the petronas twin towers was said to be influenced by islamic geometry. if you ask me the geometry shit is just an excuse to sell the building to the malaysian public. rarely will people say that it looks like the stupa, although the staggered spire does look like those ancient relic. the towers also allude to our sky high aspirations to be the best in everything.


we (referring to people in general, and me) subscribe to symbols. we take pride in reasoning our way through life. we are victims of the ultimate pop culture.


we are in denial that perhaps, life may be meaningless.




so much for a positive blog entry for merdeka day ..

"it is an argument. not a negotiation"

this happened a while ago.

i was seated next to this lady during a dinner. very intelligent, sharp and articulate, with the breadth of knowledge of a sage. so we had this conversation that naturally progressed to what i was doing. i told her i was a government scholar. and her face changed. was rather suprised by the gesture, yet i knew why she reacted that way... me being a malay and a scholar brought along some negative connotations. that i may have taken away the opportunity of many chinese and indians more deserving of the scholarship.

perhaps.


ever so often i hear of champion moralists with an agenda, arguing relentlessly on the state of the world/country/etc. zealots have a way of convincing people of their dramatized one-way-mirror bullshit. i wonder: is there any bigger bullshit than an argument?

but even meritocracy has its flaws you know? so does democracy and capitalism, but everyone knows that. so before anyone wants to talk about how fucked up the government is or how unfair our education system is to the non-malays, bring something fresh to the table. or i could care less about it.



one thing i would not do is apologize. no offense, but sans my parents, i do not believe i owe anyone anything.

the escape.

the victorian college of the arts. every wednesday i travel twenty minutes to southbank just for this one studio. i almost never get there on time. it's one of those places that is so surreal. and you don't really know anyone except your classmates.







i like it. the classes are fun. no stress. the place is just beautiful... not in the traditional sense. it's a playground for the artistype, where anything seems possible and acceptable (no... i didn't see any nude sunbathing. it's not as radical as the bauhaus it seems. but then it IS winter.)

transience

engulfed by a strange stillness
so utterly overwhelming

anxiety took over
and i drown in my own contemplation

a transient state of mind
a dream one could not escape from

groundless. it was
there was no place to stand

thus i dwell in the nothingness...

i am the nothingness;
a ghost of my own subconscious.

as rumi said;

"my place is placeless
a trace of the traceless"