nomadic durian
i grew up in many places : bandar tun razak, gombak, selayang, detroit, kangar, taman tun dr ismail, seremban, melbourne. met all kinds of people. if there's anything i have learned, it is that everyone has their own prejudices.
four years ago, i wrote an essay for my Year 12 project. It was on freedom of expression in malaysia and the united states. i came to the conclusion that perhaps malaysians were not ready enough. i was proud of myself, for tackling such a thorny issue without sounding like some anal reformist. reflecting back, perhaps i was a little naive. not that i have any more regard for the reformists.
living abroad in melbourne for the past three years have surely changed me. here i am exposed to the world for what it is. i have access to whatever sort of information that i desire, and i am free to pursue my own identity. i drowned myself in various movies and books and art from various countries and various languages.
one could say/accuse that my mind is 'colonized' (whatever that means), that i have fallen prey to ecstasy of the 'western' agenda (whatever that means), and that i am a person no longer tied by his 'roots' (whatever that means). fuck it. it is precisely this us or them mentality that is hindering our capacity to move on, as we drown further into our own egotistical fantasy.
last week, i came across amir muhammad's film the big durian in the university library. i've heard of his films, but ironically never came across any of them in the local stores. and so i borrowed the film, and watched it. needless to say, i enjoyed the film very much. it is funny as hell, and as relevant as ever. the film gives me faith in the malaysian people.
this morning it dawned upon me that these privileges that i currently take for granted for might be short-lived. one day, i will return to malaysia permanently, and finally realize that i can no longer read or watch everything that i wanted, on the grounds that they are (gasp!) 'subversive'.
i do not understand why we are denied of this.
four years ago, i wrote an essay for my Year 12 project. It was on freedom of expression in malaysia and the united states. i came to the conclusion that perhaps malaysians were not ready enough. i was proud of myself, for tackling such a thorny issue without sounding like some anal reformist. reflecting back, perhaps i was a little naive. not that i have any more regard for the reformists.
living abroad in melbourne for the past three years have surely changed me. here i am exposed to the world for what it is. i have access to whatever sort of information that i desire, and i am free to pursue my own identity. i drowned myself in various movies and books and art from various countries and various languages.
one could say/accuse that my mind is 'colonized' (whatever that means), that i have fallen prey to ecstasy of the 'western' agenda (whatever that means), and that i am a person no longer tied by his 'roots' (whatever that means). fuck it. it is precisely this us or them mentality that is hindering our capacity to move on, as we drown further into our own egotistical fantasy.
last week, i came across amir muhammad's film the big durian in the university library. i've heard of his films, but ironically never came across any of them in the local stores. and so i borrowed the film, and watched it. needless to say, i enjoyed the film very much. it is funny as hell, and as relevant as ever. the film gives me faith in the malaysian people.
this morning it dawned upon me that these privileges that i currently take for granted for might be short-lived. one day, i will return to malaysia permanently, and finally realize that i can no longer read or watch everything that i wanted, on the grounds that they are (gasp!) 'subversive'.
i do not understand why we are denied of this.
posted by (nothingness) at 08:26
4 Comments:
"one day, i will return to malaysia permanently, and finally realize that i can no longer read or watch everything that i want"... he said in his blog as he perused the World Wide Web's information superhighway.
Subvert, Faiz. Subvert.
:)
well, imagine myself being detained for owning photocopied notes from The Futurist Manifesto (which i do, though they are here in melbourne right now). the next thing i know, i'll be labeled a neo-fascist endangering the national security of our country.
Surprisingly, they were selling the English version of Hitler's 'Mein Kampf' in an airport bookshop in Malaysia, which I understand is a banned book in many countries. I know this because I bought it. But you didn't hear it from me.
In any case, there appears to be glaring loopholes in what is considered "sensitive" or "seditious" material in Malaysia. You know what I mean. Certain topics that people wouldn't think twice about elsewhere are so taboo because they are "un-Malaysian", or perhaps "un-Islamic" or even "degrading to Asian Values". And then there's things that alienate half the country's population that gets said and done even by the nation's "higher powers" that are let to slide.
Where's the fairness in that?
kangar is my beloved hometown. Small town filled with nice people. The Big Durian mmg kelakar giler. Remember scene Saleh Ben Joned. Haha..
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